This ain't no paint by number picture, don't know how it's gonna look.
I'm always makin' changes, and I don't go by the book.

I've been going through the motions, cause I think I know the way
But the path's full of surprises over which I have no say.
So the road to life has opened up. The crossroads long gone by
The path is clear, though it's not paved, I'll make it if I try.

This ain't no paint by number picture, don't know how it's gonna look.
I'm always makin' changes, and I don't go by the book.

I don't want to paint by number or to know where it will end.
Want to wake from lifeless slumber, mystery in time suspend.

Just imagine for a moment there is no more need to wonder
No shadows, doubts or questions, no poor soul can further blunder.

To know ahead about the pit stops would be rather odd.
Are you sure you'd even want to still be travelling?
Wouldn't you rather dash certainty and try to play God -
Create the threads and colors, mix your own unravelling?

This ain't no paint by number picture, don't know how it's gonna look.
I'm always makin' changes, and I don't go by the book.
No paint by number picture, don't know how it's gonna look.
I'm always makin' changes, and I don't go by the book.

You often used to wonder how it might have been,
if you'd been a little stronger, a way back then.
There was a little secret that took all your time and money.
It was all that you needed, and you lost yourself in it, honey.
You had to have more and to do it every day,
when someone came too close, you pushed him right away.

You went through the motions of growing up and having kids.
And never really had a notion of what it is you actually did.
You had a man who loved you, but not the way you chose.
So you kept your heart well hidden, and never let him get too close.
You blamed it on that secret that you gave up years ago,
if that deserves the blame we'll never really know.

Well, that man, he finally left you, the kids are grown and gone as well.
You spend your days alone weeping, it's a sad, sad story that you tell.
It hadn't been the life you pictured and you'd spent so many years in grief,
clinging to the design you're so sure you were destined to weave.

And now you're six feet under, been there for many a day.
And here I sit and wonder, how a life can be spent so astray.
And here I sit and wonder, how a life can be spent so astray.

Once we stood in winter's garden, watching snowballs flying through the air
I was lost in a daze of yearning, never guessing you might care.
Are you lonely, you said, and I nodded my head, wishing for a brighter day.
You asked me to go out to my surprise. What fool would want to mess with me.
My initial lack of interest and aloofness became obsessed insanity.
I wanted something to remember, no relationship I'd try to keep.
Although we were never together, you've always haunted my sleep.

Countless days I have loved you. Countless more have I lost
Countless times pretended. Oh, at such a cost.

I wanted to prove I was over you. I wanted to show some strength
To salvage pride and save my face, I went to almost any length.
So how could you have guessed my feelings? How could you know I wanted more?
You'd waited to see if I was happy, little could we know what was in store.
The years had passed in a blur. Other lovers had come and gone
Now and then we'd met, but the timing was always wrong.
Then we crossed half the planet to meet, going out on our third date.
Then you said you'd always loved me, but somehow it was much too late.

Countless days I have loved you. Countless more have I lost
Countless times pretended. Oh, at such a cost.

How could you say you loved me, when I spent years dying inside?
Seeking to settle for another, but I couldn't, as hard as I tried.
Then you said you were so sorry for all the pain you'd ever caused
And I felt my heart grow warm with something I'd thought forever lost.
A love letter had once been ignored. I wanted you down on your knees
Ruefully I wrote you of my folly. You said "what kind of letters are these?"

Countless days I have loved you. Countless more have I lost
Countless times pretended. Oh, at such a cost.

No longer blurred by self-destruction, now I recognize the twists of fate
I thank the stars that you've come at last. Even if seems so very late.
It may have taken half a life-time before I could gaze into your eyes
To open the windows of my soul on this path of compromise.
Now eyes sparkle with delight, the mirror of a perfect day
A small slice of heaven on earth. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Now you say it seems too easy. No further hindrance shall win.
We melt in total communion. Feel the magic once again.

Countless days I have loved you. Countless more have I lost
Countless times pretended. Oh, at such a cost.

Like any other, I had so many dreams.
There was more to life I knew, than what it seemed.
Convinced that I could make my mark,
If I could only get out of the dark, find my way out of the dark.

Well, the years rolled by and another day
In the car driving home I awoke to my dismay
That the 20 years you need to grow
I'd chosen a different field to sow.
Diametrically opposed to the voice
Screaming inside to assert its choice.

Like any other, I still pursue my dreams
But I no longer pretend to think I have the means
Cause when I look real close into the mirror of my soul
I see another fool, like the kind I used to scorn,
Who you could only regret, for ever having been born.

Well, the years rolled by and another day
In the car driving home I awoke to my dismay
That the 20 years you need to grow
I'd chosen a different field to sow.
Diametrically opposed to the voice
Screaming inside to assert its choice.

Stop mocking the others and the poor little soul
With great aspirations, but stuck in a hole.
Put your illusions of grandeur in a package with care
And send it off with no return address.
Do what you need to do; don't judge if you digress.

You're life's still on, the last big bash still to come.
So, while you can, pursue your humble plan.
You've heard it so many times, but it didn't sink in,
Listen to your heart and you can start again,
And you can start again, and you can start again.

Well, the years rolled by…

Like any other, I had so many dreams,
There was more to life, I knew, than what it seemed.

So many times we've said the things, all we ever need to say
and we both know that things went wrong along the way and got us
stuck inside this game we learned to play.
Our paths once crossed, hesitation made me stay but now
we finally must go on, come what may.

So, when do I take the next step? When do I take the next step?
There is no further we can go, there's nothing more I need to know,
nothing the future's still to show, so when do I take the next step?

Another day, everything's the same, projected back as if we'd never said a word.
Moments filled with doubt and I ask myself what happened to the
understanding that I thought occurred.
Now aware despite the yearnings of my heart so many
years to your wishes I deferred and
now it's just as clear that I can't go on much longer with this
knowledge and the feelings it has stirred.

So, when do I take the next step? When do I take the next step?
There is no further we can go, there's nothing more I need to know.
Nothing the future's still to show, so when do I take the next step?

My waking moments and those when sleep evades are spent
hopelessly lost within my dreams.
Grab out to catch a piece of sanity in the picture of desired future schemes.
Sleepwalk through the motions of daily routine, I tell you nothing is at all the way it seems.
The tension builds, just want to scream. I feel I'm bursting at the seams.

So, when do I take the next step? When do I take the next step?
There's so much further I must go, there's so much more I need to know.
so much the future's still to show, and now it's time for me to go.
Now I must take the next step.

If you want to keep me
and have my body and my heart remain true.
There are a few little wishes.
Here's what I'd like you to do.

I want you to worship the ground that I walk on.
Treat me like my heart is made of porcelain,
but make love to me like I'm not.

I don't want all that money can buy
You don't even need to bring me flowers.
Just be there when I need you,
and wash my back in the shower.
The laundry basked may be overflowing.
The car is looking pretty dirty, too.
The living room may need a paint job,
but there are more important things for you to do.

Just worship the ground I walk on.
Treat me like my heart is made of porcelain.
But when you make love to me,
please remember that I'm not.

Tell me every morning that you love me.
Hug me, kiss me, hold me really tight.
Then when the day is over,
do it all again every night.
If you can grant these simple wishes,
you'll satisfy most of my desire.
And I know I can love you just as well,
to the bottom of your soul I so admire.

Just worship the ground I walk on.
Treat me like my heart is made of porcelain.
But when you make love to me,
please remember that I'm not.

Who am I to judge?
Who am I to judge?
Dig down deep to find compassion
Dependent on a generous mood
Twist and turn the truth
Eye for an eye and a tooth
Whatever side you're on
Whatever side you're on
How quickly can you fly into a rage
Despite the comforts on this wealthy stage
Reptile brain lashing out to survive
Though civilization claims to thrive

Who am I to blame?
Who am I to blame?
Fairytales didn't always end in relief
W.D. caught on to the need to believe
To deny twists of fate or the lack of justice
Does anyone still believe that
Honesty is the best policy
Like we learned in school
Surrounded by exceptions
That make the rule.

Who am I to judge?
Who am I to judge?
Who am I to blame?
Who am I to blame?
I cannot blame, I cannot judge,
For I know my heart, I play my part.

If you believe in me, there are wonders you are yet to see.
If you give me space to grow, there's so much more I want to know

Today it's my turn to experiment and learn
To explore a new world of energy unfurled
As a picture for a moment on the wall.

Seed of discovery was planted, unexpected chances granted.
Nurture me, but don't show the way. Give me advice, but let me play.
Let me stumble on and discover
So I can see with my own eyes, not through those of another.

Today it's my turn to experiment and learn
To explore a new world of energy unfurled
As a picture for a moment on the wall.

Give me pens and paper, paint and some brushes
To catch a glimpse of life as it rushes.
Efforts held in a frozen frame. No perception ever the same
In a picture for a moment on the wall.

I am a candle of circumstance. A gentle breeze will make me dance.
Might I find no air to breathe, or a stormy wind should heave
I may flicker but I won't go out. A caring hand will ease my doubt,
will shield me from the storm, and help me to go on.

Give me your hand when I'm scared of the dark
But set me free to fly like a lark.

Today it's my turn to experiment and learn
To explore a new world of energy unfurled
As a picture for a moment on the wall.
As a picture for a moment on the wall.

When we parted last summer you asked me why I was crying
And assured me you weren't dying, though we both knew you might be lying
… unintentionally, a bit of serendipity.

It was the last time I would see you, the last time we'd hug and kiss
The last look at your dear face, I knew I would miss
when your sojourn here would be through,
and we'd have to go on without you.

You left in the fall, when the leaves had turned, but were not yet falling.
Glowing in final splendour, as you followed the voice, the voice you heard calling
Time to go home, time to go home.
Time to see mother, time to see father,
time to go home to your motorcycle love,
you left on his birthday, and you'll ride up above.

Six generations were blessed by your presence,
A scattered village remains to treasure your remembrance.
All the letters and cards you sent for our birthdays
You had so much love and shared it in so many ways.
I can still hear your voice and envision your smile as you
Urge me to stop and smell the flowers for a while.

I didn't want you to go, yet couldn't wish that you remained
Knowing that your health would not be regained
Your dignity was sadly strained,
And your feistiness gradually waned.

You held on for a time, but couldn't do as you please.
Wrestled with fate, but then found your peace
Choosing to welcome the final release.

You left in the fall…

Time to go home, time to go home, time to go, time to go, time to go home.

I'm waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin
I'm waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin
I'm waitin for my life to begin
I'm waitin for it to make some sense
I'm waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin

I've been waitin now for some 40-odd years
Had a lot of fun, seen a lot of tears
Missed out because of my irrational fears and
I'm still waitin
I'm waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin
I'm waitin for the time to be right
I'm waitin in the dead of the night
Waitin or maybe it's stage fright.
I'm waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin.

I'm waitin for my life to begin
I'm waitin for it to make some sense
I'm waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin.
I'm watching opportunities fly
Don't really see them til they've gone by
I'm waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin.

I'm waitin for them to put me down
Now I've found my little hole in the ground
Been waitin so long and wantin to be free
I guess this is just the place for me
I'm waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin, waitin
I've been waitin for my life to begin
Been waitin for it to make some sense
I guess I'll just keep on waitin'

How our paths have strayed
Through the decisions we have made,
Though we always meet again
Around some unexpected bend.
Yes we always meet again
Around some unexpected bend.

It was one score and four years ago today I gave you my word
A preppy little church with a goddess on the stage
And the best words of wisdom I ever heard.
We could have, would have, should have
But we took a little longer.
Had to reach a little further and each grow a little stronger.
Once I was sure I lost you, prayed and cried my self to sleep
Would have sold my soul if it would help to bring you back to me.

How our paths have strayed through the decisions we have made,
Yet we always meet again around some unexpected bend.
Yes we always meet again around some unexpected bend.

It's so transcendant and we know where we will end
Though we sometimes may not understand the means
I know you're there, wherever that may be
I know you care, I'd rather have you next to me.
Should fortune wink again, as it will I do believe
I have learned my lesson more than well
And I promise I will never ever leave.

How our paths have strayed…

While chatting on the internet one fine day
I found it rather striking what you had to say.
Soon after that, we met face to face
Fell in love, you moved in, we lived happily in sin.
I was glad my ex had been such a heel
Freeing me for something so real.

Oh, we could've been happy ever after, if you hadn't gone away.
We could've had more love and laughter,
If you'd only chose to stay. If you'd only chosen to stay,
if you'd only chosen to stay.

I knew you planned to leave
To end your earthly existence, despite my resistance.
I knew, though it would break my heart, I would understand why.
You were overwhelmed and full of guilt
Viewed all misfortune as your fault.
The new job was too much, you begged to be let go,
Instead were reassured, you'd soon acquire all you need to know.

Oh, we could've been happy ever after...

You put an end to things today, flew from my terrace
To a new realm, left me alone at the helm.
Though I knew you planned to leave,
I didn't think it would be today
Or I wouldn't have gone to work
Left you alone to end in such disarray.
Yet you were conscientious to the last
left the password to your computer, who to call and last wishes
Not wanting to cause unnecessary inconveniences.

Oh, we could've been happy ever after,...

There were times I was sure you didn't hear me
There were times I'd have sworn you weren't near me
Yet the closer I look, life becomes an open book
And I see your fingerprints so clearly.

In the depths of despair I'd write you a letter
Trusting that you could make me feel better
There were things I had to learn, past chapters I had to burn
To finally free me from feeling like a debtor.

The darkness has given way to light
Once dreamed prospects fill me with delight.
Now my prayers are simple thanks, as I stroll along the banks
Of the river flowing to the sea, the water rushing infinitely
Full of endless beckoning chances, poor heart take flight as my spirit dances.

I have asked you, pleaded, begged and made demands,
My behaviour can get quite out of hand.
Yet it never seems to phase you, disappoint or amaze you.
You simply steady me again til I can stand.

I pray I will remember when I'm lonely
I just need to call the one and only
A higher power than me, with the wisdom to see
That change will come to pass, but slowly.

The darkness has given way to light
Once dreamed prospects fill me with delight.
Now my prayers are simple thanks, as I stroll along the banks
Of the river flowing to the sea, the water rushing infinitely
Full of endless beckoning chances, poor heart take flight as my spirit dances.
My spirit dances.